You Think It's Easy

You think that it’s easy
Me being me
Scraping for scraps of what I used to be

You think it’s easy being that girl
Used to be sexy
Now I'm just dirt

I am not even forty
Though I feel 55
Unwanted and unused for any recent length of time

You think that it’s easy
To watch you move
What I would do
Just to kiss you

I once was so wanted
So needed
So alive
But now here I am cast aside
Feeling so empty yet loved all the same
What I would do to go back again

Back to the place where I felt so alive
Sexy and vibrant and 25
Wanted and needed by so many it’s true
Now a size 16 and it’s over I’m through

What I have gone through to live for each day
I pray and I pray that someday I may
Feel like woman needed and held
For now I am living this terrible hell

Why do you love me and cast me aside
Is there another I fear deep inside?
Tell me I ask you tell me again
Why don’t you touch me?
Please let it end

Not ever a woman
I feel empty and spent
Like a popular video game that has come to an end

What I would do to feel wanted again
To feel warmth and fulfilled and not by my hand
What I would do to stop this pain so deep
Most of the nights I cannot even sleep

A nice and wonderful man that is what you are
But how long shall I go touching myself in the dark
Feeling alone and acting in secret
You bastard I hate you for being so depleted

No excuses no arguments when confronted
“Not sure why it is dear it’s not that I don’t love you!”
I hate you I hate you for letting my eyes wander past
The shadow of emptiness that you cast

If I break the vow then I am at fault
But how long can I woman go without?
Years that it’s been so lonely so hurt
Everyday feels like my face in the dirt

If I should stumble
If I should fall
Why should I be convicted?
After all it’s your fault

A woman of honor is what I try to be
An up standing mom and a daughter you see
Shame I do not want for my family to bare
But man are you pushing me and its really not fair!

Hope’s what I hold that you’ll come round and see
The beautiful woman that I want to be
Doubt it I do and I wonder what shall be
Maybe there is someone who still would want me